


Jake's ongoing and perpetual quest for the manliness which assuredly lies within

by 3White_Mage3, jujitsuelf



Category: The Losers (2010), The Losers - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-30
Updated: 2014-04-15
Packaged: 2018-01-06 18:10:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1109986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3White_Mage3/pseuds/3White_Mage3, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jujitsuelf/pseuds/jujitsuelf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm NOT the girl! Why does everyone always think I'm the girl in this relationship?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New year's resolutions

Cougar was sitting reading the _Times_ on a stool at the breakfast bar of their apartment when Jake came freshly out of the shower, entering the kitchen in his usual hurricane of motion, words, and mismatched pastel -- always with the pastel -- tshirt and boxer shorts. The sniper instinctively grabbed at his half-full coffee mug just as the techie's hand swept over to steal it away.

"Least you could do is give me your coffee, Cougs, given the way my ass feels this morning."

Carlos kept his smirk inside as he allowed himself to enjoy that deep down special sense of manly accomplishment -- that feeling in his southern parts that proudly stated, yeah, that was definitely a job well done, as his mind and his body remembered Jake coming undone under and around him -- and turned to the Sports section.

"So, no apologies?"

"Nope."

"No regrets?"

"None. Nope. Nada."

As the clock ticked away Cougar was hyper-aware of the pregnant pause in the conversation. Silence of any length but especially anything over two minutes was a rare enough occurrence in their home that it felt immediately unnatural and a lot like when you're in Miami and your bones just know there's a hurricane blowing in from the Bahamas. But after so many years together, he also knew this particular storm just had to play itself out, otherwise the rest of his weekend was going to be the biblical, the textbook, the Webster dictionary, the Wikkipedia definition of a living hell. So he pretended to be inordinately interested in the results of last night's Vikings/Bears game and took another swig of his coffee, even as his skin began to prickle.

"Cougar..."

"Si?"

"What's your new year's resolution?"

"Why?"

"Wanna know mine?"

"Do I have a choice?" A turn of the page and onto an article about some cricket players somewhere, and who the hell really cared anyway? But Cougar knew how his real-life story ended and he knew his only choice was to go with it, like swimming with versus against the current of a fast moving river or floating on top of the waves versus fighting against the riptide off Mazatlan in September. He had the life with Jake he'd never dared hope for, and if this was the so-called price, he was eternally happy to pay it.

"Yours first."

Groan.

"To speak less and think more?"

Jake pouted, "Funny man you are. No one else appreciates the depths of your wit, I assure you."

"..."

"Wanna know mine?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"You're such a fuckin' Mr. McGrumpypants sometimes."

"..."

"It's to man up. Be the man I know I am inside but no one seems to see. To just muscle through problems. Like that guy in the movie outside the walls of Troy. Just power through. Like a Humvee on an LA freeway."

With that, the blonde man scooped up his partner's coffee mug and left the kitchen.

"You go, girl," the Mexican man replied to himself more than anyone as he left his stool to take another mug out of the cabinet and then return to his newspaper. 

 

 

 

 


	2. The mopes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake is missing Cougs.

"Stop moping. You're worse than a 14 year old girl. Grow a pair." Aisha kicked Jake's feet off the end of the sofa so she could sit down.

"And a premenstrual one at that." This said by Roque who took another swig of beer and flicked a tampon at the techie, one which he had inexplicably either: a) stolen out of Aisha's toiletry bag (not likely, given Clay's extreme protectiveness of everything -- good, bad, and violent or otherwise -- that went on inside his and his lady's room); or b) picked up on a dare for 25 cents from the ladies bathroom of last night's dive bar. Which, in hindsight, Jake realized, would have explained the high-pitched screams heard from said ladies room at approximately oh-naught-thirty last evening.

"I'm _not_ a fuckin' girl," Jensen retorted -- in a very manly way, of course. "And you, All Knives And No Brain, fuckin' do that again and I'll make sure your mother and father show up in all government records as brother and sister. And I can make sure that your name is next on the list at the local temple for this weekend's bris."

Clay, lurching into the closest he came to peacekeeper mode when his volatile girlfriend and fellow teammates were concerned decided to intervene with, "Jensen, stand down. Cougar's only been gone two days and he'll be back tomorrow from his grandmother's funeral."

Jake grabbed the throw pillow from behind Clay's evil girlfriend and curled himself into it. "Pooch, you get it, right? It's not just me, right?".

Pooch just rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to that stupid duck family show.


	3. Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The minute Cougar laid eyes on Jensen he knew the techie geek was his to protect and love for all time.

Cougar hurtled into the communal barracks shower in a flurry of motion, shoving, and fists. "Jensen!?"

The sniper heard the voice responding, "Cougs? I'm here." Pushing his way through the steam, and in the process shoving a built-like-a-brick-shithouse soldier out of the way, Carlos found his novio crowded into the back corner of the shower room, back to the tiles, fists up, blood streaming from his nose, and while defiant as hell, shaking from his head to his feet like he was standing outside in the cold instead of in a steam-filled room.

Carlos wrapped Jake in his arms and stroked the back of the techie's head, comforting him even as the other soldiers in the room hurled insults in their direction. 

Mindless of Jake's nakedness and the water soaking his own clothes he whispered, "You're okay now, amor. I have you. They can't touch you anymore. You're mine. Only mine."


	4. Why does it hurt so bad?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake doesn't always fit into the world he's been presented with.

"You realize she's holding one of the dolls we made in Brazil, don't you? Cougs...?" 

Cougar's face literally crumbled as he watched Jake cradling a child, a little girl no more than ten years old, yet another innocent who had been caught up in the latest fire fight with Max's forces. 

The Losers had been called in when the deal was already past saving, as always. The possibility of a successful outcome had long since been flushed down the crap hole and now it was time for the Losers to make the best of the shit show that was left. It had been billed as a grab and hold mission which would lead to one step forward in the no-one-talks-about-it, no-one-officially-recognizes effort to bring Max to heel. Bring him back into the fold. Give the Losers the chance to exact some small revenge on the years and the enormous personal toll this mission had take from all of them.

Scary part was that it turned out that it wasn't about punishing Max, it was about containing him, according to the voices coming out of Virginia. Like penning a rapid wolf without any guarantee that the scourge would be put down. Cougar had long past given up on trying to understand, he only wanted to get Jake and himself out. Just buy the hours, the days it would take to get them away someplace safe, by themselves so they could be together.

"Cougs!" the cry was both a plea and a protest. Unfortunately, even though his heart broke with the emotion put out there in that one word by his normally verbose partner, the sniper didn't have the answer to the unvoiced plea. If he were honest with himself he would admit that there wasn't an answer. Not to this, not to the larger situation. The officially sanctioned logic had somehow gotten lost long ago in the jungles of Bolivia and the even worse paper jungles of Langley. 

How was he to tell his novio that the little girl he was cradling in his arms had departed some time ago for what was hopefully a better place than this shit hole of a world?

He wrapped his arms around the techie. "You've got to let her go, amor. You've got to come back to me."


	6. Someday Cougar's eyes are gonna get stuck mid-roll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someday Cougar's eyes are gonna get stuck mid-roll. And then he's gonna be so fucked given, you know, that he's a sniper and all.
> 
> Apologies in advance to jujitsuelf who bounced around ideas with me in a two-minute chat. Trouble is, I added a lot of stuff and posted this without her prior approval. So taking a lot of liberties here.
> 
> See the damage literally one email can do? There's a lesson in here for all of us.
> 
> All glory, if there is any, but no guilt by association to my elven friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone think it's strange that Jake has a little pirate hat he wears on his dick? (And hey, Jensen would be the first to emphasize that the hat may be little but Jensen Junior most certainly is not.)

Jake grabs the cup of coffee that Cougar had prepared and left for him on the breakfast table before sitting down next to his boyfriend.

Cougar, not one to exactly spring fully awake on his days off, had been looking forward to -- okay, hoping for, if truth be told -- a nice, QUIET easing into the day when he hears, "and how are you feeling this morning, Jensen Junior?"

Gritting his teeth and dreading what he knows he's going to see, he looks over to see the love of his life holding his dick in his hand, having pulled it through the fly of his boxers. And the man he had fought beside and loved for years is sitting there talking to it. Yep, talking to it. And _it_ is wearing a pirate hat.

Cougar sinks lower behind his newspaper and glances over to make sure the kitchen curtains are closed. No one but no one wants a repeat of the incident a few days ago when nosy old Mrs. Shlepstein from next door had seen Jake having a similar conversation out on the back terrace.

"Did you sleep well, kiddo? Have you forgiven Uncle Cougie for falling asleep on the sofa last night when we wanted to play? I know we're not supposed to talk about it but maybe it's because he's, you know, older."

(Long suffering eye-roll from the referenced "older" man.)

"You ready to go find some action with the Cougster, Big Guy? Maybe make up for lost time? Show him what we can do? Raise the bar? Set a new benchmark? Work off a few calories? Break a sweat?"

Cougar sighed and led the way to the bedroom, followed by his loco amante and said amante's equally loco dick.


End file.
